(Not so) Forced Entry

A long time ago, there was an episode of Designing Women where the Sugarbakers had to redecorate the home of an older lady that had recently passed away. Upon entering her house for the first time the Sugarbaker clan was perplexed by the strange and unusual items they found. Having not known a thing about the dead woman, they simply drew the conclusion that she must have been some Crazy old lady that lived alone with her cat. Later, they met the man who checked in regularly on the elder lady and after a quick explanation of the strange surroundings, Every thing that was once a mystery to them now made perfect sense. This experience made the ladies ask the question: If you suddenly died today and somebody had to go into your home to clean it out, What would they find. What in your home right now makes perfect sense to you but might lead an unknowing observer to believe you were one ticket shy of the crazy train?

That particular episode came to mind last night when i got home... Let me back up a few days.

On Monday, I came home to find a note on my door stating that the building management would be entering random apartments on Wednesday to inspect for dust and lead levels as they are considering whether or not to update the kitchens and bathrooms. If they decided to inspect your particular apartment, a note would be left on your door. Please secure your pets and what have you... blah, blah, blah.

Tuesday I get home and there is no note on my door... Cool.
Wednesday night, i get home and there is a note on my door:


Thank you for allowing us to enter your apartment today. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated,

The Management.
\
Oh Crap!

What did i leave laying out? I didn't make the bed this morning! Lord, please tell me I threw my underwear in the hamper this morning and didn't leave them laying on the bathroom floor.

Granted I didn't have anything so bad as a sling hanging from the ceiling or any adult toys beside the bed. ( I don't own either in case you were curious) but... there might have been a "grown up" DVD (or 2) on top of the DVD player. And if they looked inside the bathroom closet they might have found a garland bedazzled black velvet dress along with a size 14 pink prom dress and a huge blond wig hanging on the door hook and if they chose to look at the pictures stuck on my refrigerator they would find a bevy of captured moments of me and my friends in costumes and dresses over the past couple of years.

So on the bright side of all of this I now realize, if I suddenly died today and somebody had to enter my home to clean it out I am pretty certain that they wouldn't think I was a crazy person living alone with a cat. But I'm pretty damn sure they would think I was a drag queen!