Chock full O' Nuts

So.. Working for an executive, I always look forward to the annual parade of Holiday Gift Baskets, Gift Bags and other festive trinkets and what-nots that come (my)his way during the holiday season. This year however has been a particulary lean year for some reason or another. Blame it on the economy, blame it on my company's ever changing organizational structure this year and no body knows who to send anything to... but for whatever reason, It's been a lean year.
So you can imagine my delight when a big box shows up at my desk on Monday. I rush to open it and find the standard holiday fare of cookies, candies, and dried meats and I think to myself this is all going on the community table for all the office to share. I keep digging and low-and-behold, I hit the Mother Load! A 2lb tin of Fancy Mixed Nuts! Now I LOVES me some mixed nuts and these arent just any mixed nuts, They're FANCY mixes nuts... with no cheap a$$ peanuts filling up all the space in the tin. I determine right then and there that these are staying at my desk... ALL 2lbs of them.
So starting on Monday, I begin basking in the salty goodness of my fancy mixed nuts... Cashews... Almonds...Walnuts...Hazelnuts...Salt...Mmmmmmm!
and yesterday afternoon, I'm still wollowing in my salty goodness when I reach into the tin and realize, I am at the bottom already!

Impossible!(?)

I have somehow managed to single handely eat 2lbs of mixed nuts over the span of 3 day! I couldn't believe it! but of course this might explain why i havent been very hungry all week for lunch or for dinner! What it DOES explain though is how I came up with the title of this post after going to the bathroom these past couple of days! OY!

The Dreaded Office Holiday Luncheon

Today is the dreaded Office Holiday Luncheon where a select few of us here in the office decided that we don't spend enough time together as it is (8+ hours a day / 5 days a week) so we need to get together and all have lunch because it's Christmas Time!
To make the matter worse, I'm expected to go out of my way and buy a $10 gift card for someone whose name I drew out of a cup. In return, I should expect a $10 gift card from somebody who drew MY name out of a cup. Kinda defeats the purpose if you ask me.

We're leaving at 11:30.
Wish me Luck!

7 More Reasons to impose Guilt on your Soul!

As if the Catholic Church wasn't trying to make us feel guilty enough, they have now come out with 7 NEW Modern Day Sins to accompany the the original 7 Deadly Sins imposed on us by Pope Gregory the Great over 1,500 years ago. According to the Vatican, "It was time to modernize the list of mortal sins, the most serious of sins, to fit the changing world" ...How progressive of an organization that still doesn't allow women to be priest!
But before we get to the new Sins, let's recap the Original 7.
Lust
Gluttony
Avarice
Sloth
Anger
Envy
Pride

First of all, I'm not even sure I know what Avarice is. Secondly I find it amazing after reading those that the other 6 Sins can be checked off in one trip to the Golden Corral! For Example:
Lust - Seeing the Buffet! (ooooh!)
Gluttony - Eating the Buffet.(mmmm!)
Sloth - How you feel after eating the Buffet(uuugh)
Anger - How you feel after stepping on a Scale after eating the Buffet (Fuck!)
Envy - Skinny People eating the Buffet (Bitch!)
Pride - You still have room for dessert after eating the buffet! (WhooHoo!)

Pope Gregory obviously didn't know anything about a good buffet when creating that list.

Now, on to the New list of Sins for a Modern World.
1. Genetic Modification
2. Human Experimentation's
3. Polluting the Environment
4. Social Injustice
5. Causing Poverty
6. Financial Gluttony
7. Taking Drugs

According to the Vatican: A person who commits a mortal sin risk burning in Hell unless it's absolved through confession and penitence.
So, if I understand this correctly, does "Genetic Modification" mean that I'm going to hell because I colored my Hair in college? and if so, Will I see Oprah there for her Financial Gluttony? And does the Catholic church really have any legs to stand on when denouncing "Social Injustice" ? Gimme a Break!

Anywho... Since the Church decided it was time for a new list, I thought it was time for a list of my own.
Blanche's 7 Deadly Sins!
So Here goes...
1. Driving around in the year 2008 with a Kerry/Edwards bumper sticker on your car
2. Diagonal Stripped Shirts for Men.
3. $3.45 a Gallon Gasoline!
4. Wearing Flip-Flops in January
5. Wearing Flip-Flops.
6. Believing that contestants on Reality Dating shows are there to find "True Love"
7. Faux-Hawks!

So there they are. Blanche's 7 Deadly sins for a Modern Gay world.
Whether it's by my list, the new list or the original list of deadly sins, there's a good chance we're all going to Hell together.
See you when you get there and I'll save you a seat by the Lake.

I'm Back!

As if anybody really missed me...
Anywho, I'm back from my Blog vacation and as you can see, I did a little remodeling around here while you all were gone. I hope you like the new look!
So what's happened since we last talked?
Daylight Savings Time went into effect over the weekend. I was actually awake on Saturday night (Sunday morning?) and saw the clock on my cable box change from 1:59 to 3:00. I suddenly felt robbed of an hour!

Hillary made an impressive comeback (again!) with her wins in Ohio, Texas and Vermont last Tuesday! You Go Gurl! I especially enjoyed her speech Tuesday night in Ohio when she dedicated her win to everyone who has been counted out but refused to give up... Knocked down but kept fighting...This one is for YOU! Right on Sister! right on!

The Church lady (as I like to refer to her as) retired from AT&T on Friday. She was a sweet gal and largely resembled the Mrs. Beasley Doll from the 70's and 80's. She was however a Die-Hard evangelical republican who believed as strongly in the word of Rush Limbaugh as she did the word of God! She was not ashamed or shy to voice her values and beliefs either so it was no surprise that she and I butted heads early and often! I remember once during an election year, she went so far as to put out brochures and flyers on her desk supporting the local candidates who were Pro-Life and Anti- Gay Marriage so rather than complain to our H.R. Manager, I created my own flyers supporting basically the candidates who were opposing her candidates and personally delivered one of them to her!
After that incident (which landed BOTH of us in the HR Managers office) we agreed that there were certain topics that were off limits and we slowly developed a relationship that allowed us to work in harmony without ever bring up
religion and politics again. As our 10 years of working together went on, we eventually formed a friendship and relationship of deep respect and caring for one another. I am proud to have known her (as dingie as she was!) and I wish her nothing but the best.
Farewell Church Lady! There will never be another one like you (Thankfully!)and you will be missed!

Time Off!

Hey Kids!
I'm just letting you all know that I will be taking the week Off from this Blog.
Not to worry, everything is fine and I will be back on Monday, March 10th with all new exciting topics to discuss including a review of Dolly Partons new Album, Election results, and Bag lady Show preparations. And, we'll bring back the Atta Girl of the Week again!

Everybody have a good week!
See you back here on Monday!

Blanche

Shameless

The following is a response on the CNN message board to a story about the recent death of William F. Buckley. I ASSUME it's from an Obama supporter...

As an avid Obama supporter, an independent with liberal leanings, and a woman, I am sad to hear of William Buckley's death.

He was an intellect, a scholar and exactly the kind of conservative to lead intelligent discourse on many subjects. I usually did not agree with his opinions, but always found them thoughtful and provocative (in the best sense of the word).

I would like to think that Mr. Buckley was exactly the kind of person that Senator Obama would welcome into discussions when speaking of including diverse groups and opinions.

Am I the only one who thinks that this is a Shameless plug from an Obama supporter?

For some reason, these Obamanites remind me more and more of the old saying... "Dear Lord, Save me from your Followers"

I'm Mad as Hell...

I am just Fired Up this morning.
It's all because of the MSNBC Obama Orgy...er Democratic debate that occurred last night.
Keith Oberman use to be a favorite of mine but after watching him wallow in his own Obama spew last night he is quickly joining my list of self important assholes with the likes of Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Riley.
It's one thing for an Obama supporter to join the panel and discuss his or her take on the events of the evening but when the host of the evening just flat out displays favoritism for one candidate and their dislike for the other, you really have to question the credibility of the Network. Save it for your own show Oberman!
Then there is Tim Russert... If he had been allowed to go on any longer with his list of hypothetical/what if questions I have no doubt we would have eventually gotten to whether or not we should retaliate if Monkeys started flying out of his Ass! (and i would have to vote yes!)

The fact is, The National media has been unfair to Hillary and made every attempt to beat her down like a rented mule! Much the same way the New York Times did to John McCain (after all, why would you endorse a candidate at the same time you were sitting on a story linking him with unethical lobbing practices and a sex scandal?...just asking?)

So yeah, I'm Mad as Hell and I'm going to do something about it. This morning, I gave money to www.hillaryclinton.com. I also started several pissing matches with the Obamabots on a few message boards and I signed up to make phone calls to the residents of Ohio on Hillary's behalf. I'm even trying to talk Fitness Nerd into going to Ohio this weekend to do some work for the campaign.

I have never felt as passionate about a candidate as I have this one and anyone with half a brain can clearly see that she is the most qualified and best equipped to take on this job. I get that some people just don't like her but a lot of people voted for George W. because they did "Like Him" and look what they got.
So, If you agree with me and feel the same way then I challenge you to step up today and take action in some way. Don't let the thought of You can't make a difference Matter!

You gotta kiss a lot of Frogs before you find your Prince

So, Maestro has this fun little game/quiz over on his blog. Answer a few questions about yourself and it will match you with your ideal boyfriend from a television show.
Good Times I thought to myself.
So I answer all the questions as honestly as I can and I get:
Matt Saracen from Friday Night Lights

Who in the Hell is He?
1) I don’t know him, 2) he is WAY too young for me and 3) that whole devotion to Grandmother thing is a little too weird for me.
So at the end of the quiz it ask: “Think there’s a better result? Retake the Quiz.
Thank you Jesus! There is no way I can spend my life with some Matt person that I don’t even know.
So I retake the quiz. All the while hoping and knowing that Rob Lowe’s character from Brother’s and Sister’s is going to pop up as my ideal match.
I retake the quiz, this time tweaking my answers just a little but not straying too far from what I would truthfully answer so’s not to get the same result.
I answer the last question and my result is……. Not Rob Lowe!

Dr. House from House.
Hell NO!

Still looking for Rob Lowe, I retake it again and this time I get Chuck...

Thanks, but no thanks, I don't do Nerds.

So I retake the quiz. Hell bent on Rob Lowe. This time, I answer completely opposite from what I would truthfully say because let’s face it Girls… the only way to snag the man of your dreams is to lie and become someone totally opposite of who you really are.
So, I answer the final question and………. Still not Rob Lowe.
Peter Petrelli from Hero’s

Now, I don’t watch this show but I do know this guy is kinda cute and a lot of my friends would have stopped right here. Still though, I WANT ROB LOWE GOD DAMMIT!
So I retake the quiz one more time. This time I go back to answers that are a little more truthful to what I believe and when I submitted the final answer, I got…..

Dr. Derek Shepherd from Gray’s Anatomy.

I am now convinced that Rob Lowe is not an option in this game. But let’s be honest here girls. If you have to settle for anyone else, a romantic Brain surgeon portrayed by Patrick Dempsey is not too shabby!
I’ll Take it!

Not so Blue at the Blue Martini

Last night was our monthly Big Gay Club from work mixer.
I had rescheduled it from last week due to yet another snow storm that didn’t come.
Anywho, I showed up at the Blue Martini early to scout it and have a warm up cocktail before anybody else got there. I had been to this place only once before about a year and a half ago and at that time I was dressed as Cruella de Ville, drunker than Cootie Brown and standing on a stage with a drag queen named Bunny Fu Fu. So going there this time was like going for the first time all over again!
Despite the fact that it sits in a strip mall, the Blue Martini is one of those Uber Swanky places. Some might even call it a bit pretentious. With its white leather seating, its stainless steel bar top and the blue lighting place around, it’s easy to tell that the joint is owned and operated by a homosexual.
So I go to grab a seat at the bar and I don’t even get my coat off before Maureen (sitting 3 stools down) starts a conversation with me. Happy Monday! How was your day? Where do you work? And so on and so on… as I’m getting to know her I see a man at the other end of the bar. He is one of those people that you see all the time over the course of several years and for some reason never took the time to even say hello to (and I swear, this is one of my missions in 08 to put an end to this! If I see someone on a regular basis and have been doing so for a couple of years, there is no reason I can't say “I see you here and there once in a while, my name is “Blanche”)
Where was I???
Oh yes, I see a guy at the other end of the bar. He smiles, I smile back and Maureen keeps right on yacking. The bartender takes my order and I go with the suggestion of what the guy at the end of the bar is having, some orangie concoction called a tic-tac. As soon as I placed my order, the bartender is again magically behind me handing me a food menu. WTF? He was behind the bar and then behind me in just 2 seconds! Maureen being the ever observant person she is sees my confusion and laughs as she explains to me that they are TWINS! (And cute ones at that!) I was happy that that fact was pointed out before I had too many drinks. Otherwise, I’m sure my head would have been spinning trying to figure it out later on in the evening.
I suddenly realize that its 6:00 and nobody from the Big Gay Club has showed up! My time however has not been entirely wasted. I am now aware of the facts that Maureen wants to loose 40 pounds, lives across the street, works for some company up on 106th street, recently visited London and likes to go to a pub called Jimmy B’s. Finally! Jack and Ennis show up. They each order a cocktail and we decide that the mixer is pretty much a bust and that nobody is coming (fuckers!) so we agree that we’ll finish our cocktails and head home…. 4 hours and $50 apiece later, we’re still there sitting at the bar. By this time we have pretty much sampled half the martini menu, taken advantage of the half price sushi special. Met and done shots with the guy at the end of the bar and his friend and failed to notice that Maureen left at some point in the evening. Ennis confirmed the sexuality of the twin bartenders (straight) and we have learned that Thursday night is the hopping night to go to the Blue Martini. A little past 10:00 and Jack and Ennis decide to finally call it a night as Ennis has a hankering for some Pizza Rolls. I decided to stay a little while longer and talk to the Guy from the end of the bar because a. He’s wearing a tie and I’m a sucker for a guy in a tie and b. he bought me a drink. So how could I refuse? 30 minutes later and it hits me that it’s almost 11:00! And I gotta work tomorrow! So I thanked the guy from the end of the bar for the drink and slowly made my way home.

We all had a great time and look forward to going back again. And the moral of my story is this.
The best times in life are the ones that happen when you’re not expecting them. Had last night gone as planned we would have had a good time I’m sure. But the fact that it didn’t go as planned allowed us to be open to whatever came along and that included spending some quality time with 2 firends and making 3 new friends in the process. The Guy from the end of the bar, His friend the chain smoker and yes, even Maureen.

Humpday Hodgepodge

Can you believe it's ooooonly Wednesday? It should at least be Thursday... Right?

I don’t have a lot to talk about today,

Thank you to everyone who lit candles and held vigils in there home after hearing the devastating news of Dolly Parton’s back problems… it’s comforting to know that I was not alone in my grieving…right?...anyone?...
Anyway, This is probably the most Press Dolly has gotten over anything in the past several years! She was even a Hot Topic on the View yesterday!
Some of my favorite headlines from the whole debacle include: Dolly Parton’s Tour is a Bust” and “Dolly Parton’s “wagging puppies” spark international incident”
Leave it to Dolly!

Well, Tomorrow is Valentines Day or as Maestro calls is it, S.A.D. (Singles Awareness Day)
I have my black outfit picked out and ready to wear to mark the special day.

Praise Jesus the Writer’s strike is Over! And just in time to salvage a better part of the entire season for LOST! Did y’all watch that last week? WTF?
I am disappointed to hear that ABC wont be bringing back Women’s Murder Club this season, I like that show.

Our girl Hillary really took a thumping last night… But I’m standing by my Woman! You should never count a Clinton out of it until the last dog is down!
And can somebody Please tell me what in the Hell Mike Huckabee is doing? And while your at it, please tell me why it is that the news channels insist on devoting so much airtime to him? I am really tired of seeing his goofy mug every night on CNN!

Oh well, like I said at the beginning, I don’t have a lot to talk about today.
I leave you now with an early Valentine from Barack Obama.

Enjoy!

Light your Candles Girls!

Get Well Dolly!

DOLLY PARTON FORCED TO POSTPONE U.S. TOUR TO RECOVER FROM BACK CONDITION 2.11.08

In a statement, DOLLY said: "I know I have been breaking my neck and bending over backwards trying to get my new Backwoods Barbie CD and world tour together, but I didn't mean to hurt myself doing it! But hey, you try wagging these puppies around a while and see if you don't have back problems. Seriously though, the doctors said I will be good as new in a few weeks, and I can't wait to get back out there. See you soon, Dolly."

Atta Girl! - of the Week

It’s either feast or famine with this feature.
Last week there seemed to be nobody to choose from and this week there all kinds of options.
Britney Spears – Escaped from the loony bin
Amy Winehouse – DENIED to enter the United States
Bette Midler – Opening a 3 year stint in Vegas
Hillary Clinton – Raised over 7 million dollars in 3 days for her Presidential campaign.

But this week, I’m giving the prestigious “Atta Girl” award to Shirley Jones!
Shirley Jones is a TV Legend and this week she wrapped up her stint on Days of Our Lives playing the long lost, presumed dead, Aunt to the Brady clan, Colleen Brady!
For years, I have said that DAYS needed to do some type of stunt casting to broaden it’s viewership but Honestly I wasn’t thrilled about Shirley Jones until I heard what role she was playing and then saw her in the Role. Shirley ended her run this week when Colleen died in the arms of her long lost son, John Black. Her death wrapped up the story line that was started last summer as the Brady clan attempted to resolve the Demeria vendetta that has cursed their family for the past 25 years! Not only did Colleen’s confession solve that mystery for us but it also blurred the already incest teasing gene pool of Salem by establishing that Shawn D. is married to his (sorta) cousin Belle.

Atta Girl Shirley – Colleen!

Suck it Brady!

*BAM*

So I'm driving to work yesterday morning, heading north on Meridian Street. Somewhere between 46th and 52nd street, in the area I like to call "The Tour of Homes" my poor car all but took a nose dive into what had to have been the worlds largest Pot Hole Ever! It came out of Nowhere and caused the most God Awful *BAM* when the car hit it. luckily, the car kept going and no damage was done despite the blunt force of the impact. I kept driving north and then somewhere around 80th street, a Pylon - sawhorse - orange & white construction thingie (what the hell are those things called?) blocking the right hand lane and causing the rush hour traffic to practically screech to a halt as cars had to file into one lane to get around it. As I drove past the pylon - road blocker thingie, I noticed beneath it, a Pot hole so big, it made the one my car had fallen into earlier pale in comparison. Soon I was at work and the whole commute was an after thought.

So this morning, I'm driving to work again, North on Meridian street about to enter the "Tour or Homes" I soon realize that I am in the right lane and on course to drive my car off into that gigantic Pot Hole again that was approaching fast. The cars were bumper to bumper in both lanes so there was little hope of getting over in to the other lane, I considered the possibility that a Pot Hole of that size on a major city traffic route would more than likely be taken care of right away by the City Road crews but as I looked forward down my route, I realized that was not the case. One-by-one, the cars ahead of me were taking the plunge. Break lights were glaring, Some fools were swerving over into the left lane to avoid the hole causing the left lane motorist to either slam on their brakes or swerve over dangerously close into oncoming traffic in the south bound lanes. The Hole was coming and I was going to hit it. I couldn't avoid it so I slowed the car down, I tightly gripped the wheel, my body tensed up and then *BAM* into the Pot Hole I went! It felt like an even bigger impact than the one I'd felt yesterday, but once I was out, I noticed that the car wasn't shaking, the wheels weren't wobbling and that everything was fine. Thank you Jesus! I proceeded heading north trying to get to work at a decent time when somewhere around 80th street we all YET AGAIN came to a screeching slow down as that Damn Pylon-Road blocker thingie was Still blocking the right hand lane! Still covering the the Pot Hole to Hell!Luckily though, we all made it around and headed on our ways but as I drove away, I thought to myself, If that pot hole was so dangerous, that someone felt the need to block the entire left lane, wouldn't you think it would be a high enough priority that the City Road Crew would have it patched up by now?

Yes, I'm looking at you Greg Ballard when I ask that question. Meridian Street is Dangerous and it has been for the last 2 days now! If you could please find the time (and the phone number), I would appreciate it very much if you could reach out to your Roads Department Officials and get this issue resolved before anybody gets hurt.

Sincerely,
A concerned citizen and motorist

As if I needed another reason to vote for her...

Here is a letter Clinton has written as a way of reaching out for the LGBT vote:





By Senator Hillary Clinton
As I have traveled around the country these past twelve months, what I sensed in my heart has been confirmed – America is embracing its LGBT sons and daughters with an acceptance and understanding as never before. On the campaign trail, a father of a gay son will ask about ending Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. A woman will ask why she can be discriminated against just because of who she is. Sometimes they wait furtively for the crowd to thin and then whisper their confidences in a soft voice and sometimes they stand up proudly at town meetings and want me to share my views on how I will help lead the change to assure that this country fulfills its promise to everyone.
Let me tell you what I have been telling voters across America. I am fully committed to the fair and equal treatment of LGBT Americans. For seven long years, the Bush Administration has tried to divide us - only seeing people who matter to them. It's been a government of the few, by the few, and for the few. And no community has been more invisible to this administration than the LGBT community.
I will change that. The best evidence of what I will do as President is what I have already done.
I am proud of my record as First Lady, as a U.S. Senator and as a candidate for President in working toward the fair and equal treatment of LGBT Americans.

· I am proud that as Chair of the Senate Democratic Steering and Outreach Committee in 2006, I worked closely with LBGT community to develop a smart strategy that defeated the Federal Marriage Amendment. I am proud of fighting the FMA as divisive wedge politics at its worst.

· I am proud to be a co-sponsor of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act, and the Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligation Act which would grant the same benefits (including health insurance) to domestic partners of federal employees that are currently offered to employees’ legal spouses.

· I am proud to have authored the Early Treatment for HIV Act, which expands access to vital treatment options for low-income individuals living with HIV, and fought to fully fund the Ryan White CARE Act.

· I am proud that I hired a National Director of LGBT Outreach within a month of announcing my candidacy for President and to have openly gay and lesbian staffers serving at all levels of my campaign.

· I am proud to have a National LGBT Steering Committee of over 130 that includes openly LGBT elected officials, Board members and opinion leaders on issues ranging from transgender rights, to HIV/AIDS, to “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell”.

· I am proud to have marched in Gay Pride parades as both First Lady and as Senator and to have spoken in front of so many LGBT audiences ranging from the Human Rights Campaign, Empire State Pride Agenda, the Hetrick Martin Institute, PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), GMHC (Gay Men’s Health Crisis), and the American Foundation for AIDS Research.

· I am proud to have fought Republican efforts to demonize and marginalize the LGBT community, and I will continue to do that as President.

We have so much work to do. When I am President, we will work together to make sure that all Americans in committed relationships have equal benefits and that nothing stands in the way of loving couples who want to adopt children in need. We're going to expand our federal hate crimes legislation and pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act and assure that they are both fully inclusive of all people. And finally, we will put an end to the failed policy of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Courage, honor, patriotism and sacrifice – the traits that define our men and women in uniform – have nothing to do with sexual orientation.
My father was a conservative Republican, who held very traditional views for much of his life. Yet in his last years, it was a gay couple who lived next door who provided much of the compassion and comfort he and my mother needed as he grew ill. And it was that same neighbor who held his hand as he died. If my father can move, America can move.
To each and every LGBT American, I say this. You have done so much to help this country understand your lives by simply being open and honest about who you are and living your lives with dignity. Thank you for your courage. It is time that we recognize your hard work. I know that this country is ready for changes in the law that reflect the evolution in our hearts.
America deserves a President who appeals to the best in each of us, not the worst; a President who values and respects all Americans and treats all Americans equally no matter who they are or who they love. I want to be that President. I want to be your President.

A Programming Note:

Everybody be sure to tune in to Hillary Clinton’s Voices Across America National Town Hall Meeting tonight at 9 p.m. EST. on the Hallmark Channel.

Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down...

Actually, I'm not down at all. I feel pretty good. It is however very gloomy out side here today... and WARM! Is it just me or is the weather really Jacked up lately?

Almost 60 degrees today,
Flood watch Tomorrow,

Snow this Wednesday,

Tornado last week,

and let's not forget the 8 inches of snow we DIDN"T get last Friday.

anywho... enough about all of that.

Did ya'll watch the game last night? HA, HA, HA... SUCK IT BRADY! That was Fabulous! Congratulations to Eli and the Giants. Jordan Sparks did a good job on the National Anthem. Tom Petty sucked at Halftime and the commercials were hit or miss for me. I think my favorites were the Pepsi Maxx commercial and the Coke commercials with the Giant Macy's parade balloons.

But the big question was "Where was Paula Abdul?"

I had heard she would be performing!?! Perez Hilton has a video of the performance, But I sure as hell didn't see it anywhere during the game last night!

Oh Well, I guess without seeing it, we can retain our fond memories of a performing Paula from years past... Overweight singing Vibology on the MTV music video awards!

Anywho...

That's about all I got for you people today. Sorry if it all seems a little light and frivolous. For anybody checking in to find a bit more sustenance and words of wisdom, I leave you with the following quote.

"Where ever you go, There you are" - Bernice Clifton

Have a good week everybody!

Pussy Hair...

I came across this website in my Instinct Magazine this morning.

Now I ask you, Is this really Necessary?

It's bad enough that we have to embarrass our pets with stupid sweaters and other silly costumes but now somebody has taken that idea to a whole new level with Kitty Wigs! If I was a cat and somebody tried to put one of those things on me, You can bet your clean sheets that there would be a pile of kitty poo in your bed when you went to sleep that evening.

For anybody with a kitty willing to take that chance, you can order your very own kitty wig here: http://kittywigs.com/wigindex.html

And then there were two...

John Edwards has left the building.
With that news it becomes all but certain that for the first time in American History a woman or a black man will indeed be a major party candidate for President of the United States of America!

These are exciting times people! I couldn't be more proud of my Democratic party.

A woman and a black man as the Democratic nominee does more than just make us look progressive, it opens up a national dialogue to discuss a few topics that for the most part we won't discuss or haven't had any reason to discuss. My mother pretty much summed up this discussion in one conversation. Mother is a typical Midwestern, white woman, independent who leans left when voting. Her statement was this, "I like Hillary but I'm not sure I would feel safe with a woman in charge and I like Obama but I think his wife is too uppity to be First Lady (her words, not mine)

Does she have a point? Does the rest of Middle America think like this?

I was browsing Obama's website the other day and came across this button.


Now, I have color television and I am well aware of the fact that Barack Obama is a Black Man, but I have to confess that after seeing this image of a young black family with the title of America's First Family, My core was rattled for a brief second. The only things close to resembling a First Family in that picture (from what I grew up knowing) are the pearls around Michelle's neck and her hairdo. Is this an image that you think America can accept and get use to?







On the other side of the ticket there is the discussion of whether or not a Woman can be commander in chief and leader of the free world. My first line of thinking is, Sure. She will surround herself with knowledge Generals & advisors (all male) so she would be well advised when making any kind military decisions. But what if they are Women Generals? Would I still feel as confident?

Is it deep planted seeds of racism and sexism (no matter how subtle) that makes us ask these questions or is it the fact that we have never had a woman or black man in this position before to prove to us that it is, in fact, possible. It's not like all white men have been good presidents. (I'm looking at you G.W.B.)


I'm not sure. But what I do know for sure is this, Sexism, Racism, or uncertainty be damned. When the day comes this November and I find myself in the voting booth, I will proudly cast my vote for either the first Woman or first African American ever and in doing so, play a small part in making history while slowly erasing the prejudices’ of our past history.

Can I please have the 5 minutes back that it took me to read this worthless piece of journalism?

Source: CNN

journalism
Huckabee challenges Romney over fried chicken
Posted: 09:01 AM ET

Romney stopped in at a KFC over the weekend.
PENSACOLA, Florida (CNN) – Mitt Romney's failure to eat fried chicken with the skin on is nothing short of blasphemy here in the South, according to GOP rival Mike Huckabee.
Romney, of Massachusetts, dug into a piece fried chicken at KFC while campaigning in Lutz, Florida on Saturday, but not before peeling off what most would consider the best part — the crispy skin.
Admittedly, KFC's chicken doesn't exactly stack up against the delectable kind that comes out of deep fryers in kitchens around the South, and Romney said he was looking for the healthiest option available to him for lunch.
Huckabee, looking ahead to a flotilla of southern states up for grabs on Super Tuesday, was told about the move by a reporter here in the Florida panhandle.
"I can tell you this," he said, "any Southerner knows if you don’t eat the skin don’t bother calling it fried chicken."
"So that's good. I'm glad that he did that, because that means I'm going to win Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma … all these great Southern states that understand the best part of fried chicken is the skin, if you're going to eat it that way."
Huckabee admitted that he hasn't eaten fried chicken in a while because of his weight loss program, preferring it broiled or baked instead.
And speaking of possible gaffes, a good Southerner might also dispute one of Huckabee's claims: since when is Oklahoma "a great southern state"?

Atta Girl! - of the Week

Alison Arngrim - AKA Nellie Olson!

I stumbled across an article about Alison earlier this week and since nobody else really made any news this week, why not give the award to her!

Nellie Olson was the original "Mean Girl" as she made life for Laura Ingalls and the entire town of Walnut Grove a living Hell! Each week we couldn't wait to see what kind of terror she would unleash and whether it was blackmailing Laura to be her slave over a stolen music box or convincing the townsfolk that Bunny the horse had kicked her and therefore the horse needed to be "put down" just to piss off Laura, She made life on the Prairie Must See TV.

After "Little House" Alison became a tireless activist for AIDS awareness and education after the untimely death of her Little House costar, Steve Tracy (Percival) in 1986.

Alison is an icon in the Gay community and is currently touring the country with her one woman stand up act "Confessions of a Prairie Bitch" the show can be seen at venues across the country ranging from the Vancouver Gay Men’s Chorus in February to a prison guard's convention in Las Vegas.

Bigger Issues

A coworker of mine just sent me this picture accompanied by the following text:
"Senator Barack Obama, Governor Bill Richardson, Senator Hillary Clinton and Ruth Harkin stand during the national anthem.Barack Hussein Obama's photo (that's his real name)......the article said he REFUSED TO NOT ONLY PUT HIS HAND ON HIS HEART DURING THE PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE, BUT REFUSED TO SAY THE PLEDGE.....how in the hell can a man like this expect to be our next Commander-in-Chief"

I responded with the following text:
"With 47 million American’s without health insurance, Illegals crossing the boarder every day, 4000 dead American’s in Iraq, gasoline at $3 dollars a gallon and an economy in recession, I sleep well knowing that he/she has a firm grasp of the REAL issues of this election like whether or not a black man with the middle name Hussein puts his hand over his heart during the Pledge of Allegiance."

Seriously People!

It astounds me that some people think the only qualification one needs to be Commander in Chief is the ability to put your hand over your heart and recite the Pledge of Allegiance.

Dear God, Save me from your Followers

The following is an actual Press Release from the Reverend Fred Phelps and the Westboro Baptist Ministry regarding the untimely death and funeral of Heath Ledger.

Discuss amongst yourselves and click here if you would like to send a message to the Rev. Fred regarding his little note.

Crush

I saw the other day where Lorenzo Lamas turned 50 years old. Damn he's old! But he still looks pretty good!
I can remember as a young boy having the biggest crush on him when my mom and I would watch Falcon Crest on CBS Friday nights. I just thought he was the most beautiful man in the world as he strutted around Jane Wyman's pool wearing nothing but a yellow speedo. (swooon)


Lorenzo was just one of many of my childhood crushes from television shows of the 80's so after seeing his picture the other day it got me thinking about some of the other TV crushes of my childhood.



A big one for me was Jeff Colby (John James) from Dynasty, and later the the spin-off the Colbys.



I saw a picture of him recently and he really hasn't aged all that well. But back then, I would have taken down Fallon (both Pamela Sue Martin & Emma Samms) for a chance that he might marry me one day!









Another BIG crush of mine was Tyler (Tommy Puett) from Life goes on.


His entire look reeked of the 80's and he couldn't have been more Hot with his blond mullet, rolled pants and white hightops! I remember his character being kind of an ass on the show but when you look like that, Who cares? For some reason later in the series his character vanished and Chad Lowe was brought in to play Becca Thatcher's love interest. God I loved that Show!






Anywho... Moving on,

Although I can barley remember the show, it would be hard to ever forget Jon-Erik Hexum who played Phineas Bogg on the short lived series "Voyager".



As best I can remember, his character was from the past and he met up with some homely little kid from the present and they traveled through time to solve a mystery or save the world or something. In trying to find a picture of him, I discovered that he's already dead... Killed himself by holding a gun to his head and firing off a blank that fractured his skull... so sad.





Moving on,


My Brother was a HUGE fan of the show CHiP's but I couldn't be bothered with it... that was until they brought on Bruce Penhall to play the roll of Cadet Bruce Nelson!



Cadet Bruce was the younger brother (or cousin) of Larry Wilcox's character. He was some kind of officer in training and famous for his motorcycle skills.... or something. It didn't matter. Cadet Bruce made this show an instant favorite for me!






Lastly, there was Ricky Schroder *sighs*



I was Fascinated by him... I'm pretty sure that I wanted to BE him rather than BE WITH him. He was everything I wanted to be; cute, blond, rich and a killer dresser. Not to mention, his dad owned a Toy factory! My Dad worked for the Co-op at the time so we were more likely to have a tractor in front yard rather than a train running through the living room.







Aside from Ricky, Most of these people have vanished from the public light and I couldn't tell you what they are really doing today. (except for poor Jon Hexum) I suppose, when the beauty fades, so does the career. But I will always have my memories of them and thanks to Nick-at-Nite and TV Land, maybe a quick glimpse every once in a while.

Atta Girl! - of the Week

This weeks Atta Girl goes to none other than Miss Dolly Parton who tomorrow will turn 62 years old! (at least the original parts of her will anyway)

At age 62, Dolly shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon with the new album "Backwoods Barbie" due out next month and a musical stage version of her movie 9 to 5 (penned by Dolly no less) due to make it's stage debut later this year!

Someone once asked Dolly what she hoped people would say about her in 100 years and her response was "I hope they say Damn she looks good for her age!" Right on Dolly. Right on! At age 62, you've never looked better!

(Not so) Forced Entry

A long time ago, there was an episode of Designing Women where the Sugarbakers had to redecorate the home of an older lady that had recently passed away. Upon entering her house for the first time the Sugarbaker clan was perplexed by the strange and unusual items they found. Having not known a thing about the dead woman, they simply drew the conclusion that she must have been some Crazy old lady that lived alone with her cat. Later, they met the man who checked in regularly on the elder lady and after a quick explanation of the strange surroundings, Every thing that was once a mystery to them now made perfect sense. This experience made the ladies ask the question: If you suddenly died today and somebody had to go into your home to clean it out, What would they find. What in your home right now makes perfect sense to you but might lead an unknowing observer to believe you were one ticket shy of the crazy train?

That particular episode came to mind last night when i got home... Let me back up a few days.

On Monday, I came home to find a note on my door stating that the building management would be entering random apartments on Wednesday to inspect for dust and lead levels as they are considering whether or not to update the kitchens and bathrooms. If they decided to inspect your particular apartment, a note would be left on your door. Please secure your pets and what have you... blah, blah, blah.

Tuesday I get home and there is no note on my door... Cool.
Wednesday night, i get home and there is a note on my door:


Thank you for allowing us to enter your apartment today. Your cooperation is greatly appreciated,

The Management.
\
Oh Crap!

What did i leave laying out? I didn't make the bed this morning! Lord, please tell me I threw my underwear in the hamper this morning and didn't leave them laying on the bathroom floor.

Granted I didn't have anything so bad as a sling hanging from the ceiling or any adult toys beside the bed. ( I don't own either in case you were curious) but... there might have been a "grown up" DVD (or 2) on top of the DVD player. And if they looked inside the bathroom closet they might have found a garland bedazzled black velvet dress along with a size 14 pink prom dress and a huge blond wig hanging on the door hook and if they chose to look at the pictures stuck on my refrigerator they would find a bevy of captured moments of me and my friends in costumes and dresses over the past couple of years.

So on the bright side of all of this I now realize, if I suddenly died today and somebody had to enter my home to clean it out I am pretty certain that they wouldn't think I was a crazy person living alone with a cat. But I'm pretty damn sure they would think I was a drag queen!

Double Trouble

So, I was watching the News last night and apparently, the FDA has now approved the sale and consumption of cloned meat! (with the exception of sheep (?)
My first thought was "Hmmmm?"
My second thought was, When did we get to this point?
Wasn't it just a few years ago that we cloned Dolly the Sheep? Doesn't it always make the news when an animal is successfully cloned? Apparently not because according to the news report, there are currently over 600 (known) cloned animals in existence in the United States
Seriously!?!?
They even interviewed a researched scientist who has been working on/with cloned animals for the past 10 years... 10 YEARS?
So I guess that being able to clone a living creature is not news anymore... only whether or not we can eat them!
I guess it's only a matter of time before a human being is successfully cloned (if it hasn't happened already) which begs the question... would you clone yourself if you were able to? I'm not sure myself. On one hand, it would be a fabulous resource for a new liver and lungs when my give out but on the other hand, , on the other hand... Wow. I can't think of a single reason why i wouldn't clone myself. Guess i'm feeling a little conceited this morning!

Atta Girl! - Of the Week

Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Girl friend pulled off one of the biggest upsets in modern political history Tuesday when she defeated Barack Obama in the New Hampshire primary.

I raise my glass and say: Atta Girl!

Blanche Endorses...

Hey Ya'll

It feels like I haven't blogged in ages! The truth is, I have not done a good job at keeping up with this thing in the new year... My Bad! I'll try harder in the coming weeks.

So what's been going on? Not too much here.

I am currently listening to John Kerry endorse Barack Obama over on CNN.com (puke)

I haven't talked much (if any) about politics here on my blog because frankly, Fitness Nerd does a much better job of it over on his blog. So, if you'll allow me, let me give you my 2 cents on what i think.

I love politics. I love it as a spectator sport. I love that because of the television writers strike, the 2008 Presidential campaign is pretty much the best reality show going right now, full of drama and suspense.

I am a supporter of Hillary Clinton. I have been since it was rumored she might run for the presidency soon after she was elected to the Senate for the first time. I feel that she has the perfect mix of experience, strength, intelligence and compassion to pull this country out of the hole we've been digging ourselves backwards into for the past 7 years. She is the only choice for me. I love watching her in debates. I love watching her go toe to toe with a room full of men and coming out overwhelmingly as the smartest person on the stage. I love that when all of the other candidates are talking about the abstract issues of Hope and Change, she's talking about better screening of cargo ships entering our ports and the recent housing market crisis.

Don't get me wrong, I like the ideas of Hope and Change and all that Optimistic crap. Barack has gained a huge following with those themes and I can see why. Being an optimist myself, I want to believe that anything is possible and that Change can come and give rise to hope and that we'll all be better off one day because he is the candidate of change and blah blah blah...but eventually the Optimist in me has to give way to the realist and ask, "How are you going to do that?"

My personal opinion at this point is that Barack would make an excellent Vice President. I like the guy a lot and wouldn't mind seeing him as my President someday... He's just not ready yet.

Less than a month ago I would have told you that a white woman and a black man would have the same odds of making it as a donut in a weight watchers meeting, but after the events in Iowa and New Hampshire I'm beginning to think otherwise. Barack is a movement. He has been drawing people to his rallies (and more importantly to the polls) in droves. Record turnouts in both Iowa and New Hampshire out numbered Republican 2 to 1 in some places. Plus, he has done what John Kerry couldn't do in 2004. Get out the youth vote. I honestly believe that a Clinton-Oboma ticket could turn some long time red states, Blue.



The Republican party is pretty much on Life support this year and I don't think that all the Evangelical prayers in the world are going to help it.

For the Democrats, Our time is now. People are engaged in this in this election like never before. Record turnout at the polls along overwhelming ratings for a televised debate (on a Saturday night no less) are just the start. This is going to be an exciting and historic year so I encourage you all, get informed and get involved in the conversation.



01/20/09 will be here before we know it and it is my hope that when that day comes, A woman will have crossed that bridge to the 21st centruy into the grand hall of that City on the hill and that Barbara Striesand will be singing one more time, "Happy Days are Here Again"

I was going to quit smoking today but...

I was going to quit smoking today but I had too many cigarettes left at the end of last night to just Throw Away!

I was going to quit smoking today but it's a beautiful warm day and nothing beats a smoke break to go outside and enjoy the weather.

I was going to quit smoking today but when I woke up this morning I didn't know what to do with the time originally reserved for smoking a cigarette and watching the morning news.

I was going to quit smoking today but the truth of the matter is I just wasn't ready to. I have a brand new box of of extra strength patches on the counter at home and the name of a Doctor who will prescribe me the Medication needed, but I just didn't feel like quiting today.

The truth is, I enjoy smoking. There is nothing more enjoyable to me than a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, or a cold beer, all accompanied by a nice relaxing smoke. And don't get me started on the enjoyment of a cigarette after a bloat inducing meal!

I know that smoking is one of the most unhealthy things a person can do to themselves yet despite that, the small pleasures seem to outweigh the long term risk.

I know that I spent somewhere in the neighborhood of $1700 dollars on cigarettes in the year 2007 but that point seems irrelevant when you can get such a "good deal" by buying the 3 pack special.

I still have every intention of trying to kick this monster one more time but with the Mean Girls Biggest Looser and a handful of other resolutions I've made to myself, there's only so much self improvement I can focus on at once!

So for now, I"m still smoking. Someday (within this month) I will again, pick a date and attempt to slay this beast that has such control over my life. God Willing!

I was going to quit smoking today but I just wanted a damn cigarette.

2008 is Here!

Wow... where do I even start?
First of all, I'll start off by apologizing to everyone who has been checking back to my blog only to find Julia Carson's face staring at them each time (may God rest her soul). I took some much needed time away and now I'm back. I feel recharged and rejuvenated and I realize how much I actually miss coming to work. I like the routine, the hustle, the drama and the unexpected surprises that come with a full days work.
Can you believe that it's 2008 already? it seems like only last year we were ringing in the new millennium and stocking up on our Y2K rations and here it is 8 years later already! I like the New Year. I like that it somehow feels like a fresh start. A chance to start over or at the very least improve on what you started in the year before.
This year, the Mean Girls are starting a "Biggest Looser" program and I'm excited about it. nothing motivates me more than a good ol' competition and with $50 on the line to the winner, I can't wait to get started!
I also am going to try (again) to quit smoking. I have been a smoker since the age of 22 and have tried to quit numerous times. Will this finally be the year? I hope so! Check back here regularly for a progress report on that.

So what do we take from 2007?
Well, It was a Fun year without a doubt. check out Romeo's blog for a re-cap of just some of the fun we had. Plus after searching for for a good couple of years, Fitness Nerd, Maestro and I finally found that magical 4th person that had long eluded us. I don't remember when it happened or where it happened but Romeo one day appeared and the rest is history.
It was also exciting to watch the transformation of close friends this past year. We watched as Xena blossomed and found her way into the sisterhood of Sappho and even joined Dykes on Bikes for the Indy Pride Parade as if to say, I am Woman, Hear me Roar! (litteraly)
We were witness to the continuing transformation of Mom. Once a quiet and meek soul that would rather bite her lip till it bled than say anything that might offend someone, she somewhere along the way found her voice and is now the first person to call something for what it is. She has no problem getting in someones face when needed and she is often times the voice of reason in the sea of stupidity that we sometimes find ourselves in.
And the Mean Girls themselves changed somewhat this year. Once fixated to the dark corners of social gathering, we stuck our heads out into the light this year and (painfully) met some new people and made a few new friends.

So with 2007 behind us it's time to look forward. 2008 promises to be a fun and exciting year.
I was watching Sylvia Brown on the Montell show the other day and she herself said that even numbered years are always better, and that the number 8 is the infinity number (???)
anywho, There's all the usual annual events to look forward to, Pride, Birthdays, Chicago, Halloween, plus the addition of the Summer Olympics and a Presidential Election.
Those big events are the best. but it's important to know that those events would mean nothing without the little moments found within them. Having your face painted side by side to the smell of Sloppy Joes, Eating Pie Hole Pizza on a stoop in Chicago at 2:00 in the morning or Trying to take one's picture on stage as your being flipped off. Don't ignore those little moments. They are what makes the ticket worth paying for, and the ride that much more fun!

May all of your Hopes and Resolutions come true this year!
Happy New Year Everybody!